Ups and downs

I feel strange. And I don't know if it's a result of visiting dentist today or rather beginning of being ill :/ I hope the first one. I don't want to be sick before the trip to Warsaw.

During the weekend I got the next refusal for the job as a trainer. It was quite depressing and demotivating to be honest. It was too long time without any nice result. And of course friends were trying to convince me that it'll change, but since some time I hate good advices like: everything will be ok, that's just the bad moment and so on. I know that they are probably very true, but I hate them. I think that if it's too much then you may have enough of everything ;) And after those refusals during last 2 months I heard so much of them ;)

And today I got a surprising, nice e-mail from the SALTO Participation Center that I was accepted as a one of six trainers who will lead creative workshops during the European Youth Week in Brussels :D Great! It's a nice job for the European Commission and SALTO. And quite good paid as well :p And again Brussels twice this year (at least) - the city which I like much. And I already know that one of the other 5 trainers is Behrooz - with whom I worked in Kusadasi last year :D He is a great guy and very professional trainer. So, 2 nice news in one day :)
Now I need to find a good connection in reasonable price to go for the preparatory meeting to Brussels. It will be soon - 27/28th of March, so I should be quick in searching and deciding. We'll see :)

Finally I have 2 applications to send before I'll go to Warsaw and at this moment one to send after coming back home. And 2 or 3 project applications to write. One until 5th of March. And things to do for our National Campaign Committee. And other stuff as well, so not really free time.

On 2nd at the morning I'll go to Warsaw. First I'll take part in a debate about the future of Europe, organized (in relation with 50th anniversary of the EU) by the representation of European Commission and the Polish Youth Council :) And at the afternoon the 4th Meeting of the NCCs of the Campaign will start. At 7 PM we will have dinner and at 6:25 Sergej will come to the central train station, so I hope I'll manage to pick him up from the train station after finishing the meeting on this day. Oh, yes, I forgot to write that Sergej will come for the Action Week in Warsaw :) It's really nice of him that he is coming from Germany to support tolerance and open-mindness(?) of the Polish society :D Now, I'm arranging a free host for him. Probably it'll be one guy who is the member of the Amnesty International and Campaign Against Homophobia, so he will be related also with the Action Week, so should be nice. But it's not still sure. I need to discuss with host and guest ;)
So, during those few days in the frame of the Meeting we will take also part in the Action Week, so it'll be even easy to meet during the day for some hours and it shouldn't be difficult to involve him as well in the evenings - first one is NCC market ;), second is a big party, third is free. During the fourth evening there will be an oppening of the nice exhibition related with the issue. But we'll not be there already.

Because on the afternoon 5th of March we'll take an EuroCity train and go together to Frankfurt. Then he is going to the family home and I'm going to the village near Berlin. I'll participate in the training course for trainers related with upcycling, so - how my friend wrote - how to change trash into a treasure ;) What is funny it's starting 3 days before my arrival, so I will skip 3 days. But they need a next pax from Poland. It'll be a bit strange to try to integrate with the group which is already quite integrated. I hope I'll manage. And on the next day after my arrival we're going for the whole day to Berlin ;) First visiting some alternative cloths galleries and Turkish Market and then a free time :D I should be home at 11th of March, staying one day longer in Berlin after the training.

And after 9 days again I'll go to Berlin ;) This time to participate in the International Forum on Human Rights. And almost from Berlin (or really from there) I'll go to Brussels for this preparatory meeting of the EYW. Wow, March start to look as a very short month ;) And 1st April will be quite difficult date then ;)

Ok, it's already very long post :p But that's life - nothing or much :p Or middle :p

Berlin again ;)

Finally Maartje has some free time after first part of moving, so we could talk on MSN :) And she even managed to upload pictures from the weekend in Berlin, so she invited me for Yahoo photo sharing. I saved them and even if they are very low quality (from this photo sharing), I'll try to publish them here. Let's see.

I've met Jitske first time in Berlin. It's a very nice, funny, warm, talkative, smart and creative person. I like her :)

And this is Kathrin. I've met her already two or three times, don't even remember ;) I like this sitster from the sisterhood of bitches ;)

And here (from the left) - Jonathan, Jakob and Sergej. So, my three favourite German guys :D

And that's lovely Anai (I don't have a clue how to write her name ;)) - originaly fromm Argentine, for a while from Spain and now from Berlin. She and her lovely Argentinian tango.


And here my two great friends - Maartje and Jonathan. I like them so much :D

And last, but not least - me and Sergej in the nice pub.

And two sisters from the Sisterhood ;)

That's all for this moment. Now, I need to wait for those crazy and cool pictures and movies, which we done on Monday early morning with Jakob and Sergej ;)

Busy time

A few days of silence, beacuse first of all not much happened, and secondarily I had quite busy time now.

At this moment I have about 14 applications to write until 9th of March - and if everything would be good they needed to be finished at 1st of March. All of them. Most of them is for a job as a trainer, 1 or 2 for grants and rest for participation in some events. Besides that I need to write many e-mails, finish finally one report and start to work on 2 project applications for 1st April. Looks busy ;)

Last days weren't so busy with chating with friends. A few conversations with Biba, Sylwia and Annamari and a few short with Maartje. Biba is busy with her essays, Sylwia with being in Berlin ;) Annamari and Maartje with work. Maartje additionally with moving to her new appartement during this weekend. Rene and Catalina are participating in the EBM in Gliwice, Jakob has problems with the computer, Sergej is preparing his drawings for an exam on Monday and so on. I need to be patient more less until the beginning-middle of next week. Don't have any other choice ;)

When I switched my computer on the St. Valentine's Day I was greet with hugs from Sylwia, then got message from my blog-friend Marta. And then the whole day nothing. And suddenly at the evening I got a short wishes on Gadu-Gadu from a single guy. And it was M. - the last guy from whom I expected to get wishes on this day! ;) What a surprise. Then we had a nice and quite long - as for him - conversation on GG. Interesting end of the evening.

In this week I got again one refusal about the job - it looks like 'habbit' now :( I wonder if there will be any positive institutional answer in this half of the year? Let's wait and see...

A few days ago I received a news from the lady from the Council of Europe that our project (about HRE planned with the PYC) is on the waiting list and we'll get the final answer on the beginning of next week. So, I started to worry about it. And suddendly today we got the final answer - we got the grant!!! It's cool. The only problem now is that we got 3500 Euro less than we applied :( That means looking for the other resources, what is not easy in this country in 2 months. Even less if we want to confirm the hotel reservation. Or changing the nice hotel for a hostel, which I wouldn't like to do, to be honest. But still great! Marius already confirmed that dates are still ok for him. Now I'm waiting for the confirmation from Marc. And we'll aslo get the support from CoE in the form of the 4th trainer nominated and paid by them :) And some other things - promotion on websites, support letters and so on. We may also have a visit of the employee of the CoE during our TC, but this is not sure and will be cofirmed later. Now I need to create a preparation schedule and a revised budget and send it together with a confirmation of the date to the CoE before 19th of February! They didn't gave us much time... ;) This is the first grant which we got from the CoE, so I'm quite happy - maybe this is a beginning of the CoE-adventure on next level? ;)

It looks that the PYC is slowly moving forward. On 2nd March there will be one day conference organized by the PYC and the representation of the European Commission in Poland. We're also organizing together a 2 competitions (essay and ideas) and the winners will be nominated by the PYC to go to the Youth Summit in Rome :) Lucky guys :p We're also talking about the study visit of the representative of the European Youth Forum - to come to Poland for a few days to help us to plan the development of the PYC, talking about our membership in it, having meetings with stakeholders to convince them to support us and so on. Cross your fingers for all those things!

I also received a preliminary information that I was accepted for a 4th meeting of the National Campaign Committees of the "All Different - All Equal" Campaign, which will be held at the beginning of March in Warsaw. At the beginning of the next week I should get the final confirmation and more details. So, during those days I will probably (at least partly) participate in the "Action Week" organized by our Polish NCC. It will be for sure interesting - week against a homophobia in our country! I hope I'll not be hurt ;) Hehehe... no, fairytale - not during the meeting of NCCs of the Council of Europe Campaign ;) I hope there will be also more collegues and friends.

I started to help our NCC some weeks ago. Now I'm taking care about one competition organized with help of the group of journalists, a database of projects held in the frame of the Campaign by our partner NGOs and creating an offer for new partners. So, also quite much work. But it's fun - finally I'm in the NCC, so officialy involved in my lovely Campaign :D

Additionaly, Mara - my hungarian friend - send me an offer to apply for the training courses about cultural diversity and youth participation for 1st April. To finally work together as a team :) One would be held in Poland during the fall, one in Hungary. She is negotiating with one hungarian NGO and I'm in touch with two friends NGO - of Ewa and of Sylwia. So, I hope that everything will work and during this fall I'll have additional 2 training courses to lead and to lead them with my lovely friend Mara. And maybe some other friends - don't have plans still for the rest of the team :)

And maybe finally I'll be paid for the seminar in Macedonia! At least one from organizers promissed to send the money in the end of next week. And I don't know where - to the local organizer or directly to me... Besides, it's Italian NGO, so probably end of February or mid-March is more realistic ;) Let's see!

Besides that I'm suppose to write an application for the youth project for our local partnership before 5th of March. I have problems with brainstorming, it seems that ideas which I really like are not so well seem by the board of it. Let's see as well. The problem is that I should also co-ordinate it, so for me the best time would be half of June - half of August. If 2 projects will not be accepted then since the beginning of June to the end of September. But I would prefer if they would be accepted of course! And I hope that they will like my last idea, which I find not so bad - mostly busy during the July, later rather moderation and in September one meeting.

Ok, I was thinking to write the post also on the Polish blog, but I'll just check my e-mails and try to go to sleep. It would be good to return to good habbits - going to sleep at midnight :p

Gurken und Wurst ;)

I’m using the time in the Eurocity train from Berlin to Poznań to write this post. It’s a pity that I don’t have a internet connection in the train. Maybe in the future…

Yesterday around 8 Sergej came to Jonas’ place. We had a very nice conversation during drinking the tea and waiting until Jakob will finish his work. He is doing the placement in the house for handicapped people instead of military service and work often until 8 – 9 – 10 PM. When he finished his work and has a bit of time to relax physically and mentally we went to Neu Kolln to visit him. We’re planning to talk some time and then to go to Friedrischshein visit Sergejs’ place, but finally we decided that it’s too late – it was around 23 and the metro stopped at 1 AM. So, we went only to the shop to buy an apple juice for the Żubrówka, which I brought. On the way from the shop we’ve noticed one Turkish fast food, which was still open, so we went there to have a really good and very cheap kebab. It was 1,5 Euro normally and when we’re buying it, it was even a promotional price, so less than that! After coming home we opened this big bottle and have a funny and nice time with all those ‘bad’ stuff – drinking, smoking and so on. We had a lot of very interesting conversations, but at some moment we started to have this ‘silly’ mood, so e.g. preparing a terrible drink – Żubrówka with water from the tap, water from the pickles and one pickle inside ;) Or making a lot of stupid photos, e.g. gangsta serium or ‘how to badly eat Nutella’ serium :p We had Nutella all over our faces at some point ;) Then we even started to make movies (Jakobs’ camera has option of doing 10 minutes long movies). And that was the ‘final’ of silly things – still with Nutella, then with a ‘documentary movie’ – how to prepare and smoke joints ;) and so on. It was really crazy time! And I just love it! Now it’s only one bad thing – I need to wait for those pics and movies :( Jakob probably lost somewhere the cable for uploading photos and his laptop doesn’t have a memory card reader, so he is now planning to buy one and then burn them on the CD and or give it to me (if it would be possible to meet) or send it by post. But it will probably take some weeks :( Around 6 at the morning we decided to go home. Sergej went with me until the doors of Jonas’ place again - to be sure that I’ll be safe and to say goodbye. So, I was in my bed again after 6 and slept until 10:30, so not really long. But I’m planning to sleep in those 2 slow train which I will take from Poznań to my place. After waking up and taking the shower I packed my things, talk a little bit with Jonathan. Then ate my croissant with marzipan ;) during checking my e-mails. And at the end again talking with Jona before going to the U-bahn station. On the Ostbahnhof I bought quite nice postcard, which I will send to Biba, when I’ll be back home. I promised to send her postcards from places, which I will visit. But I forgot to write down the address from the e-mail from her, so I couldn’t write some nice words and send it on the Ostbahnhof, because I didn’t had the address :/ Silly me!

In general – it was a absolutely fabulous time! I spend such a great days and nights here :D Even if we needed to work – it was interesting, efficient and quite innovative, even if sometimes it was with quite hot discussions ;) Then, when we had a free time I’ve spend a really cool time with Maartje, Jona and Jitske and also a lot of beautiful time with Sergej and Jakob. I just love it! And I’ll miss all of them so much! We need to find a next opportunity, which makes possible to meet again quite fast. Maybe I should move to Berlin? ;) But my knowledge of German is rather not sufficient ;) Even if I developed it with Gurken and Wurst and zuruck bleiben bitte ;) I think it’s not enough :p But from the other hand it would be a way of quick development of my German skills. But then I need to work somewhere to be able to live there… hm… ;) We’ll see, you never know what will happen soon! And I was a very good girl again, even if… Hm… There were some little temptations, but my angel site again won. I’m not sure if it’s good :p But it seems to be in my nature now… Too long of being such a good girl, too difficult to change it now. Maybe I need to develop my evil side as well now… Slowly, on each trip, then maybe in some weeks/months I will be again less angel and a little bit more ‘evil’ ;) Let’s see… It could be quite nice sometimes :p Hm….

From Berlin

Girls went to take a train, I just cleaned the kitchen, Jona is finishing a meeting, so I've found a few minutes to write a post. I'll stay here until tomorrow midday, so I still have some nice hours to spend here :)
Those days were really soooo cool! :D I've met Maartje and Jitske on the main station and then we're going together to Jonas' place. Then he prepared a spaghetti for us and we're suppose to start the work after eating it. But somehow our time just pass by on chatting to fast ;) So, we decided to change an environment to more suitable for working ;) and we move to the place called Roma Theater. Then actually we were working for 1-2 hours. Because then it was quite late (about 22) and we're suppose to go for a tango concert of Annai, we decided to eat a great and very cheap pizza on the way to the concert restaurant. On the way we've met Kathrin and all together we came to listen to Annai to the middle of nowhere and it was a really nice part of the evening. After concert we still were sitting in the restaurant, drinking the wine and chatting. Then we started slowly move back to Jonas' flat, because he was suppose to wake up at 8 to go for some meetings and both girls were tired after the work week. On the way to his place Jakob called that he and Sergej finally may meet with us, but the tired 3 decided to stay at home and I just wait a bit in the flat and then they came to pick me up around shortly after 2 o'clock ;) We went to the closest open pub, which is very nice and cheap and we spent a lovely 3 hours there chatting, drinking beer and smoking :) Then they decided to show me that German guys are also gentelmans, so they went with me until the Jonas' door :) So, I was in my bed after 5 at the morning.
On Saturday I woked up after 11 and after 12 we started to work on the program with girls, while Jona was on the meetings. He came at 3 and started to question everything, so finally we stopped to work on the program and decided to go dowstairs to the cute and little cafe and there work on the general content and vision of the TC. At the end of the evening we had a really original and I think interesting concept of the training course. We'll see how it'll work in the practice, but if it'll be ok, then we should publish it and make the people use it ;) Then we went to a nice Turkish restaurant to have a really great dinner. The meal was soooo huge and not really expensive. Cool :D When we almost died after eating too much ;) we decided to move more to the center and meet Sergej and Jakob there and spend the evening together. We met them in the very 'pubbish' and student part of the city and - because everything was so crowded - we went to a restaurant called "Habana" and have a nice drinks there. around 11-12 we got sms from Kathrin that her friend is organizing a 'Berlin-private-party' (it seems to be a famous category of parties :)) and we may go there to join them. And of course we did ;) It was a nice appartament full of people. We had a nice drinking-chatting-smoking time there, but of course after 2 o'clock girls and Jona decided that they are tired and going home :p Unfortunately Jakob is working today as well, so he also needed to go home. So, only Sergej and I decided to stay longer. We had a really nice rest of the night, talking a lot. Suddendly a few friends of him (from the place were he was living) came and I've met many nice people on this party as well. At 5 at the morning we decided to move to home. But during the waiting (20 min!) for the U-bahn we found out that we're soooo hungry that we can't go to sleep like that. So, we went to the Hermansplatz to find some still open place and eat. The only open place was McDonald :S But if you're very hungry at the 5:30 at the morning even this is ok ;) So, we had a nice breakfast :p Segej went with me to Jonas' flat and then home. And I was in my bed at 6:30.
Today I woked up at 12 and we had a nice walk to the bakery all together. Since the night there is a bit of snow here, so we had a snowballs fight on the way ;) After a nice breakfast we were working until 5. Then girls packed, talk a bit with us and moved to the train station. Jona had a meeting, I was talking with Sylwia on MSN. Later I cleaned the kitchen and now writing ;) I hope that soon after finishing the post Sergej will come and we'll meet to visit Jakob and later move to Sergejs' flat to drink Żubrówka, which I brought :) Jona is going for a dinner to a friend and I hope that later he will join us as well. It must be a great night - last during this stay here. And we need to plan a next meeting ;) I'm so happy to be here and meet all of them and it was such a crazy, great, nice and warm time :D It's just cool!

Tomorrow

Still there is no answer about the decission of the Selection Commitee about the grant for the training course about Human Rights Education and Compass. Strange... First time since I have a contact with the Council of Europe (fall 2004) they didn't implement what they promissed. It was written that the decission will be until 6th of February and nothing until now. And from 'my sources" ;) I know that the lady responsible for that is not in the office until Tuesday! Grrrr.... So much nerves for me and the others whom were helping in the application for one week more! Uffff...

During this week I got 3 or 4 rejections for my job applications. That makes me really unhappy. What's more - I really think that my profile is better and better, but it seems that not for them. Especially for the last rejection - they explained whom they choosed and at least one person has very similar (or even I would say worse) profile than mine! But in this circle unfortunatelly personal relationships are so important as well :/ I'm loosing my self-confidence slowely. Beginning of this year is definatelly worse than last year! And in last year I had a lot less of those nice experiences! Very starnge and it makes me said and discourage... Demotivate...

But one things helps me forget about it until next week! Tomorrow I'll go to Berlin for a preparatory meeting of the training course in the Netherlands in April. We'll have this meeting in Jonathans' place :) So, I'll meet my lovely friend Maartje and her friend and co-worker Jitske (whom I don't know still personally). And already tomorrow at the evening, about 7-8, I'll meet as well my cool friends from the last training in Banica - Sergej and Jakob :D I'm so happy about it! And they promissed to spend with me my free time during the whole stay! :D Jakob even took a day off in the job ;) Sergej don't need to do it still ;) That's so great and I'm so amazingly happy that I'll meet them all and spend with them time until Monday :D Maybe we'll even implement a "Free Hugs Campaign" in Berlin, we're talking about it with Sergej a few days ago. That would be very interesting for sure! Let's see... For tomorrow we're thinking about the chill out evening. Then on Saturday continuation of work and at the evening crazy party ;) On Sunday again work and at the afternoon Maartje and Jitske are going home and I'm staying until Monday midday, so for me again a nice evening with guys :)

Ok, time for Polish blog as well...

Today...

... cross your fingers for me and one project!

**********
Update: Upssss.... Hm... It's typical for me - made mistake with dates! The important date is 6th of February, so tomorrow! So, save your fingers for tomorrow then ;)

Time to party

Since 2 days I'm sitting home and relaxing - reading books, listening to the music, talking with friends and family, sending e-mails, playing stupid games ;) But to be honest - I'm missing my friends. 2 friends leaving nearby has little kids, husbands, jobs and houses 'to take care about', so they almost don't have a free time to meet with me. And now most of my other friends is quite busy, so not being online very often. That makes me a bit more melancholic... I should find new friends somewhere near, but how to do it now... I love leaving in the village, but sometimes it makes things more difficult. And I would love to just go out with friends, have a great time together... But in 5 days I'll be in Berlin, so at least for 3 days I'll have many friends around :D But then probably longer break again... But who knows!

Because I bought this laptop in this time I had a promotional offer - I could order Windows Vista Home Premium for free. Just paying for tax and transport - whole was 20 Euro. I ordered and in 6-8 weeks (!) I should have it home. Until then I'll consider if I should install it ;) Sergej started 3 days ago and made a huge mess with his computer... But from the other hand this one is 'adapted' for Windows Vista, at least it's written like that on the cover. Let's wait and see...

Today we had a national eliminations for Eurovision. I decided to watch it and was quite surprised. For 10 bands - 4 - lets say - weren't Polish (2 Swedish, one I don't remember from where and one mixed). And I must say that I liked the song which won. If you want to hear (and see) it - it's HERE. I must say that I liked the idea that Poland will be represented by girl with Russian origin and black British guy :D It seems that young people don't support the 'only-one-right-government' with his 'mission of Polish Poland'. At least not in music tastes. I'll cross my fingers for this song when the time will come...

Ok, going to sleep finally!

Ce soir...

...je éprouver de la nostalgie...


Beaucoup...